What Im Doing?

Right now, like this moment i'm trying to put together a mixtape, I already have the songs situated I just have to record them now, and honestly a lot of the songs I have recorded already I want  to redo a lot better for the mixtape. For Instance I would redo my Hiiipower, the first time it was recorded it was a botch job.. not a good look at all. But aside from that not much has been up, the days go by so fucking fast now a days cause im not paying attention to anything but school and music, I drain almost 70% of that balance on music rather then school, which means it needs a little revising. But meh, improvement is what im aiming for

Blah Rant

Thesww - Teal Lazy

Im kinda irritated people.. for the most part i'm a pretty chill person. Not a lot can get under my skin.. I can accept a lot of things as fact and even leave some things alone...... but for some reason hypocrisy and being hit always gets under my skin... well obviously getting hit pisses me off more than the other, but... well whatever i should get to the point. Earlier I had a conversation with a friend of mine.. i wont disclose any information about the person at all cause if I did that would be some weak shit.. but thats another post for another day... anyway we had a conversation about new freshman coming into college and how they are loud and boisterous, blah blah blah, she doesn't talk to them they are irritating and the like. Now I said that she should welcome them jokingly, that she should open her heart and talk to em just to see what they are about.. Just ignoring them is antisocial. She responded that its not being antisocial in an irritated tone, that she talked to people HER age... mind you.. we are good friends and i'm not only a freshman but i'm younger then her as well.. but anyway, I said that she should be a role model if they are so terrible. She responded that their mom should be their role model. I asked her if its possible to have more than one role model. She responded that she wasn't responsible for anyone's child and that she isn't even a role model. I said that she is very responsible and people could learn a lot from her. She just repeated that she isnt responsible for anyone's child. Now this is a person who kindly takes care of small children on the daily, but yet you cant share that kindness, not only that but you say "your not responsible for anyone's child... Hypocrisy, dont shirk on your ideals in respect to the situation. Shit if you dont like smoking, you dont like smoking. Your opinion on it shouldnt change because at the time your surrounded by smokers. well that was my pet peeve of the day

Update #?

Thesww - Teal Lazy

So lately I havent really been getting as much sleep as I should... well... I make it seem like this pattern is recent but I have been cutting back on sleep for some time now. Its just not enough time in one day to do my school work home work crap, then try to make a decent beat (translation: try to make some of the hottest shit in the world, i take it seriously but it will pay off soon.. bet), then try to write at least three verses at least... it doesnt even have to be for the same song, it could be scattered to the winds as long as I feel I did some shit and the day wasnt wasted. Lately ive been trying to piece together the different parts I represent, often times I express different parts of myself through many different avenues or activities. that spirit when I dance, the thoughts in my poetry, and the many masks in my character... I try to put them all into my music at once but it never comes out quite right.. If i try to put the power in my voice I sound like im screaming, not only that but I dont pronounce my words correctly, when I try to put that spirit in I sound monotone and blah blah blah... main point is I need A LOT of work. But imma do it, and imma do it quickly! No time to bullshit, Ill find my voice and put it out on tracks

Decisions

Thesww - Teal Lazy

Today im going to make my decision... wait you probably dont know what im talking about do you? fine, ill fill you even though its a hassle.. (joking, by the way) You see for a while I have been meaning to upgrade my ableton intro (value size beat making software) .. to say, ableton live (large size beat making software, or ableton suite (use your imagination...). Only problem issss I have a limited amount of cash to spend and it aint fucking cheap, its $279. Now thats the first issue. The second issue is that I want to see my future wife some time soon, she does not live in michigan so I would have to purchase a plane ticket, currently the fare on priceline is a cool $327. Now im only willing to spend around $500, which means that I can only choose one of them. The fact that im a producer means that I could possibly get that money back if I sell enough beats, but its not guaranteed.... and if i go on the trip I wont have enough cash for the software for quite a long time, but I get to see my future wife.... decisions, decisions. Well I came up with the bright idea of just asking her what she wants me to do. If i make the decision and it bites me in the ass later i will have regrets, but if its made by her, i could deal with it. what it all boils down to is money vs love, I wonder which she will pick....

Update BIAAAA

Thesww - Teal Lazy

Its been a minute, I missed you guys. How has everything been the past couple weeks? huh, you say your doing fine? thats great.. oh me? Im doing fine as well. In the past month I have gotten some solid product, and some not so steady product as well. (rack city and something else I guess) meh. Pretty soon i'm going to releasing some type of mix tape, something small but concise, I want to touch on everything that I enjoy on it. Which means its going to be reaching in some different areas, my guess is that some will really like one or two songs and ignore the rest because they will be worlds apart from each other. I just want to show some versatility as my first move... get that out the way first before anything else so the statement.. "sure teal is great at conscious rap but is he good at ______" the answer is yes BITCH! I showed it off on this awesome mix tape called ______ cause I don't know what its called yet officially.... or something like that. New product going to be coming soon, like videos and stuff, yeah i still do them and stuff.... just not in like months.. or a year or something I lost count, hopefully you didn't.

Much Love
Teal Lazy

To do or not to do?

Many might not be aware of this but I kinda have some daddy issues... Im not entirely sure when it began or what brought it on, but I do know that with time it grew. My father is an extraordinary man, a jack of all trades, yes, but also a king of many. When it comes to providing for his family there is none greater, he makes sure that everything we need is there for us. In all respect, he was an awesome dad back then and still is to this day... The only problem I can think of surfaces when I consider the extra duties that I personally feel makes a great parent. The encouragement, understanding, kindness, and warmth among other things. I feel these things should be provided by the parent. In my father's defense I know he tries to provide these things as well its just.... he doesn't quite understand how to show it to me. The emotions I would like shown are never shown, the understanding I hope for is never shown, the encouragement I dream of is far too rare. When you couple this with a temperament that seems negative, poisonous even when dealing with situations.... it makes teal a very dull boy. Often times I ask my father about things im concerned about, and end up leaving with more problems then I remember having before. After years of this I made it a rule to do things myself if at all possible. Well now that the back story is done lets get to the current issue.....

Needless to say, I make it a rule to stay out of my dads way. For that reason... I stay in my room most of the time. I only come down to watch tv once in a blue moon and eat. I don't start conversations unless I have to, and if my father starts a conversation I try to keep it brief. I try to provide for myself if at all possible, mostly because i dont like asking my dad for things. There is always difficulty whenever I ask, so I dont bother. Because of that I want to be completely independent, never needing to rely on anyone, especially not my dad. If I can make it as a musical artist with zero help from my dad it would be magical. I feel that it would prove I didnt need his help in order to make it.

With that being said, do you all think it would be a good idea to accept help from my father to purchase software for making beats? Do you think asking someone I want to be independent from for help is something I should do? Thats what my brother believes I should do. He doesnt agree with my notion, he says that I should swallow my pride, or how he says it "eat a little crow" in order to get what I want instead of working for it my damn self. I understand his feeling but doing that would rob me of happiness, I would feel like I accomplished nothing. I would feel like I couldnt do anything myself, that I would have to depend on my dad for everything. I do not want to feel that way at all, NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!

So what do you think? Do you think I should swallow my pride? Do you think I should ask for my fathers help in something I want to do myself?

Happy New YEAR!

Woot, Woot! New year and stuffffff, time for some drastic changes in my ideology. For this year and every year after, I plan to reduce my storytelling (lying) as much as possible. I know some things warrant lying so I wont say that im going to stop lying completely (cause that would be bullshit and everyone should call me on it). Hopefully with this change and my vague resolution "Do better" ill be able to become a greater person. I want to larger than life without making my own stories if you get my drift. Anyone can make an epic about themselves, few sit back and leave the story making to spectators. So everyone, if your trying to keep a resolution for once this year how bout trying "Do Better" on for size. It sounds easy because its vague, but its difficult for the same reason. You literally have to do better at everything you can think of and then some in order to fulfill it. 

Oh and by the way pretty soon I should be getting a video camera, with that I should be able to make some satisfying videos and the like. Before nothing really tickled my fancy (hehe tickled my fancy :D) but  hopefully when I get it the video bug will bite me again.