To do or not to do?

Many might not be aware of this but I kinda have some daddy issues... Im not entirely sure when it began or what brought it on, but I do know that with time it grew. My father is an extraordinary man, a jack of all trades, yes, but also a king of many. When it comes to providing for his family there is none greater, he makes sure that everything we need is there for us. In all respect, he was an awesome dad back then and still is to this day... The only problem I can think of surfaces when I consider the extra duties that I personally feel makes a great parent. The encouragement, understanding, kindness, and warmth among other things. I feel these things should be provided by the parent. In my father's defense I know he tries to provide these things as well its just.... he doesn't quite understand how to show it to me. The emotions I would like shown are never shown, the understanding I hope for is never shown, the encouragement I dream of is far too rare. When you couple this with a temperament that seems negative, poisonous even when dealing with situations.... it makes teal a very dull boy. Often times I ask my father about things im concerned about, and end up leaving with more problems then I remember having before. After years of this I made it a rule to do things myself if at all possible. Well now that the back story is done lets get to the current issue.....

Needless to say, I make it a rule to stay out of my dads way. For that reason... I stay in my room most of the time. I only come down to watch tv once in a blue moon and eat. I don't start conversations unless I have to, and if my father starts a conversation I try to keep it brief. I try to provide for myself if at all possible, mostly because i dont like asking my dad for things. There is always difficulty whenever I ask, so I dont bother. Because of that I want to be completely independent, never needing to rely on anyone, especially not my dad. If I can make it as a musical artist with zero help from my dad it would be magical. I feel that it would prove I didnt need his help in order to make it.

With that being said, do you all think it would be a good idea to accept help from my father to purchase software for making beats? Do you think asking someone I want to be independent from for help is something I should do? Thats what my brother believes I should do. He doesnt agree with my notion, he says that I should swallow my pride, or how he says it "eat a little crow" in order to get what I want instead of working for it my damn self. I understand his feeling but doing that would rob me of happiness, I would feel like I accomplished nothing. I would feel like I couldnt do anything myself, that I would have to depend on my dad for everything. I do not want to feel that way at all, NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!

So what do you think? Do you think I should swallow my pride? Do you think I should ask for my fathers help in something I want to do myself?